wicked weekend

Just got back from Boston on Sunday! I went for a much-need visit with Matt :)

Lately, the weather has been warming up in New England. Matt said one day it reached 90 degrees in Cambridge even! But, while I was there, Boston chose to be rainy and cold. Go figure.

The rain didn't keep us from driving out to Salem, though. Sadly it wasn't the Salem from Days of Our Lives, but it was def the Salem of witch trial infamy. We went to the witch trial museum, saw the harbor and strolled through the town despite the constant mist in our eyes. Everything up there is so flipping old, it's insane to see houses and cemeteries from the 17th century. The witch museum also was a two-part show, in a way. The story of the witch trials from 1692 were told in the first room with this kind of wax-model-people display. Kind of like the animatronic action you'd catch at a Disney theme  park, except these figures didn't come to life like robots. A very ominous voice narrated the story, though.

The second part was a short display on the perceptions surrounding witches based on movies and TV, and how pandemonium can spread like the witch trials did.

The town also has a statue of Samantha from "Bewitched" in the middle of the downtown area, courtesy of the fine folks at TV Land, the network that brings you Nick at Nite lol! We took pics with the statue on Matt's camera, which are posted above.

Anywho, that night we went to a bar down the street and indulged in falafels from Falafel Palace, the Roppolo's Pizza of Cambridge nightlife. The next day we tried to walk around by the river during some sunlight, but of course, got caught in some serious rain that ended up breaking my phone :(

All in all, good times, especially because Matt's going to be here in less than three weeks!! I'm soooo excited we don't have to go six weeks between visits this time! He is coming here for the Ben Folds concert on Sunday, May 8, so he's also staying until Monday morning!! I can't wait!!

I left my heart in ATX

I went to Austin for the first time since last August last weekend. I got to see Rachel and her and Matt's new house in Buda, and I went cake tasting with her and her mom, too. We tried to look at bridesmaid dresses, but by "tried" I mean, "went to one store, laughed at the ridiculousness that is the world of bridesmaid dresses, and gave up." We had much more fun gabbing at Le Madeleine after tasting cake.

I saw Maryam and Audrey, too! We had a good sushi dinner on W. 5th St., a place called Sushi Zushi. Good stuff :)

Sunday was the kite festival! It was awesome! I went last year with Matt, and we tried to fly this pathetic kite we made for free that we named Lil Lightning (it's a 'Simpsons' joke). Needless to say, Lil Lightning should have been renamed Piece of Crap (which is ironic, because Matt's an aerospace engineer. He told me to emphasize the 'space' when I tell people that :P )

Anywho, Maryam and I got a kite before we hopped on the shuttle - a Little Mermaid kite, clearly for kids, but I liked it - and got it flying on the first try! It was a gorgeous day, and to see Zilker full of kites in the perfectly blue sky made me think how much I love that city.

This is our kite in the sky. yup, it's Ariel!

I was able to go to Austin because I got two whole days off from work to go to a page design workshop at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth. I really enjoyed it. It started Wednesday night, and then you spent all Thursday learning and creating page design. Seriously, we went from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 or 11ish at night. But, we got to use all of the super-new software and iMacs at the TCU School of Journalism. It was like being a kid locked in a candy shop, to sound like a total nerd.

I tried to post the page I created up on this post, but I couldn't get it to work because it's a PDF, not a JPG. Oh well :(

been thinking a lot today

I am having the hardest time focusing on work today. It's terrible. Part of it is because the weather is so flipping beautiful, I just want to be outside basking in it and enjoying a day that isn't full of rain and clouds or snow or arctic air.

I'm also a little tired/sleep-deprived from trying to stay awake for the Tonight Show. What a bust that was.

My mind is also hard to corral ever since I learned about my Aunt Adrianne on Saturday. She has been fighting a stage four cancer reoccurance since fall of 2008. She was initially diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer back in 2002 or 2003 - I think 2002, because that's the summer I was 16 going on 17.

Anywho, she's been fighting for her life for a year and a half now, but it's rapidly gone downhill. She is leaving her third and final treatment in Washington state this week and coming home to Oakland for hospice care. My mom told me to be ready to fly to Oakland this spring for the inevitable, I guess (I can't even bring myself to type the words).

I'm just so thrown by this whole thing with so many emotions. I always thought the five stages of grief were cliche, but it's true. On Saturday I was shocked and openly wept. I just let it out. Last night I was at the gym, and I was irritated with all the little things that were off with my regular routine - like, I lost my normal pen, and my combo lock, and my usual locker(s) were taken, and all of the squat apparatus were taken (which is never the case), and I was just filled with anger. I wanted to throw all of the weights around and make noise and just rage. It was weird.

Today, I am just numb and distracted. I feel like I'm on another planet. I went through my inbox and re-read all the emails Adrianne and I have sent each other, and I'm just thinking about how I failed at keeping in touch, especially as of late. I got really afraid to talk to her, because I just have no experience with this kind of grief/tragedy. I left her a voicemail about a month ago (she didn't answer her phone) because I wanted to say, well, anything I could just to show that I still think about her.

This whole situation is just awful. I feel even worse for everyone else around me, like my mom, who watched her dad die of cancer around the same age Adrianne is. I hate that she has to lose her sister too early, too. I feel awful for my Uncle Kenneth, who is a living saint for being with her all these years and taking such perfect care of her. I wish I could think of the right things to say to my cousin Deidre, who has never had the perfect relationship Adrianne, and is an only child, which means she doesn't have any siblings to share the load with.

I have this morbid curiosity now about what it's going to be like when it happens, I guess because I'm preparing myself for it. It's going to be awful. I just want to go back to the days when we would spend our summers in Santa Cruz or Laguna Beach, and we'd all swim and lay out and stroll the boardwalk without a care in the world (at least, I had no worries, because I was a teen). I want to tag along with her to dance class again, or go to plays with her and Kenneth again. I remember when she took me shopping when I was 13 and I felt so stylish and hip as I let her and the store clerk pick out clothes for me to try.

Ugh, I don't know, I'm just so overwhelmed with confusing feelings - I wish I could just feel acceptance or peace or something less tumultuous. I guess if I'm wishing for things, though, I wish for a miracle.

quick update

I realize why I let this blog go so neglected last year. It's not that my life is unexciting and status quo - that's half of it. The other half is that I don't want to share when my life is not well.

Life is fine, actually, I've just been stressed and not all chirpy and positive. Work is super-busy, although hopefully this Friday's edition, with the Progress tab, will put an end to the madness. I've spent the last two weekends sitting at home sad over missing my boyfriend. Sad but true. I'm usually so wiped by the weekend that I can't bring myself to go out, so I've spent the nights at home relaxing and wishing Matt was here. Long distance is really, really hard.

I'm still making it to the gym three times a week, rain or shine or good day or bad day. I'm proud of myself for that. I'm not eating as well as I should, because it's still instinct for me to indulge in food when I'm stressed and think a snack will make me feel better. I'm packing better lunches and breakfasts, though, and eating better dinners. Just got to watch the in-between grazing.

Finances are still going fine - no overdrafts, yet, and will have a nice chunk in savings at end of the month. It's a start, though it gets hard to make myself update Quicken every day now that the novelty wears off. This is why so many people fail to change or uphold resolutions every year. They're just plain draining, trying to change your habits. Continued consistency is key.

Record snow hits DFW!

On February 11, Dallas was hit with nearly a foot of snow! I think we got about 6-7 inches in all in our neighborhood, so this morning, I snapped a few pics! The last one is me attacking my car with a broom so my car is ready to be warmed up when I have to go into work eventually.

ugh, stupid Super Bowl XLIV

Peyton lost :(

I've been ignoring the news ever since because I can't stand New Orleans and their stupid "Who Dat" chant. I'm being a sore loser today, but I'm sure I'll be over it tomorrow!

Super Bowl XLIV

It's halftime and Colts are up 10-6 - yessssss! In college I had a Peyton Manning poster on my ceiling, and I'm starting to think it's time to bust it out again. Don't worry, it wasn't a very scandalous poster, just an action shot of Peyton throwing a pass.

Anywho, so far, some interesting commercials. Leno and Letterman with Oprah was a surprise, and of course, who doesn't like Betty White? And, the one with Brett Favre as the 2020 MVP. Now, time for The Who!